Re-Donk-U-Less

Perhaps tonight hadn't been a good idea after all.

Ideally, breaking into the Natural History Museum would have been a great idea, the thought of all that money to be gained from the glinting jewels and the golden cast statues enough to fuel both Jonathan's internal motivation and his experiments for the next few months. (Especially since he had more than enough buyers lined up for the prizes he was certain to obtain, since the security was shoddy at best anywhere in Gotham, including the museum.) But with that sense of motivation came a certain sense of well-obtained pride that any Rogue had when pulling off a heist and a sense of sportsmanship and distance when it came to the act itself. So when he'd arrived at the museum, Jonathan hadn't thought to check for any other…parties before he got down to business.

This was how he'd ended up knee deep in the damnable flamingo display half-way across the building –and a whole wing away- from his intended goals.

With a shirt covered in tiny pink flamingo down feathers.

Once again, he was reminded as to why he despised birds.

Someone had seen fit to also break in with him, a novice, one who'd set off the easily disarmed security field that was now wailing loudly in the background as he situated himself to ride out this other person's magnificently ignorant blunder. Either they hadn't thought to turn the thing off before strolling through the main foyer of the Rare Gems Collection, or they'd tried and failed spectacularly. Either way, it was still going off all over the building, and exhibit after exhibit was being thrown into lock down. Well, at least it hadn't been himself this time around, and though the noise didn't seem fit to fade anytime soon, he was just lucky it wasn't himself on camera trying to flee for his straw stuffing.

But if the police didn't hurry up and get there to arrest the idiot who'd set off the alarm, he was going to start gassing the place regardless of whether or not they knew he was there. It was late, his plans were already torn to Hell and back, and by now, in his crouched position, his feet and legs were getting very numb very quickly. He was getting far too old for having to deal with this sort of thing, and was definitely too old to have to pretend to be part of a faux flamingo habitat display. And when he was made to feel old, he got distinctly irritable.

Silently, as he was muttering to himself and praying to any god that might be listening that he wasn't caught outright, he tried to shift a bit when a fly –innocently darting along- crossed paths with the God of Fear himself. And flew directly into his mouth, where Jonathan Crane, Lord of Despair, proceeded to choke and start hacking up a lung to attempt to dislodge it from where it'd landed. In doing so, he was not only ejected from his hiding spot within the plastic birds, but he was also spotted from well across the open floor plan of the wing, where the GCPD were hunting through the various Oaks and Pines in search of whoever had set off the alarm in the first place.

Now Jonathan Crane –The Scarecrow- was far from a saint, but even he couldn't deny that the cosmic sense of justice at his gaunt form hopping out of a flamingo display, choking on an insect, and covered in pink feathers at a heist he hadn't even blundered himself, was purely sadistic. Even by his standards, this was an all time low, one that his pride wasn't fully ready to foster-raise as his own, but was more than willing to pin it onto another, less fortunate victim. And with a ferocious growl, one that he was proud to say had come from him; he darted off into the darkness of the museum, the thoughts of the other intruder hot on his mind.

Oh the things he'd do to the vapid little twit who'd made his presumed pleasurable night a living, breathing Hell on wheels.

The ungrateful louse wouldn't know what hit them when he was through.

And when the police finally did find them, they'd wonder just why the body was covered in pink flamingo feathers.


Last Edited: June 2o, 2011 for Jonathan Crane Word Challenge Contest